January Reflection

What makes you stand in the face of adversity?

January has been an interesting month. In the world of entertainment, more lives were lost. And a reality star gained a lot of power. In politics, there’s a new American president. He’s orange, a bigot, and more than half the country didn’t vote for him. The backlash thus far has been varied. There seems to not be one demographic that is 100% behind this orange reign. In business, there’s a new American president. In world news, there’s a new Amer– You get the point. The current president has taken over all things media. I’ve avoided Facebook as it seems to be the easiest outlet for those in my circle to support or hate the president. For now, I’m tired of both sides of the argument. For Americans (and the world), we’re seeing a side of our country we hoped was dying. This rebirth of blatant racism and bigotry has many of us sad, afraid, angry or some combination thereof.

When you have to tell a person not to comment on your social media posts because the only words they know how to type are politically motivated or racially ignorant, you begin to question whether or not to continue subjecting yourself to their online presence. I chose not to sever those virtual ties. You have to watch for crazy to know it’s coming. The funnier part to me is that said person then invited me to a FB group on politics. After asking someone not to make all my posts about politics, why would they think I’d join a group about politics? She stated in the About section: so we can have an open discussion. Considering the fact that we wildly disagree about the current state of America, I don’t see myself keeping an open mind when you tell me that you voted against your interests, you don’t believe  what’s right in front of your face, and that you don’t understand why I would be offended by white supremacy. I’m good. I’ll just need you to say all the way in your lane, where you can take several seats.

I digress.

In other news, millions of women stood in New York, Boston, D.C. and all over the nation, in protest. It was a proud day in America. A day that came after one I’m personally ashamed of as an American.  But as an African-American woman, I am also ashamed to admit that I did not attend the the women’s march. Not being a part of this historic day has made me question my ability to stand. Protesting in college was easier. I felt like a big girl firghting the man. Black Solidarity Day seems a distant memory, but a revival feels necessary in today’s environment.

Personally, mine was full of illness, severed friendships, and letting go. I’ve let go of a few things to make room for what I want most in my life. They weren’t huge things. Not did they cause big changes, but every little change counts.

2017’s inaugural month pushed also parental mortality to the forefront of my world. Dealing with a parent’s illness from afar has made me weary, worried, and angry. In the past, moving away from my hometown was a milestone I could be proud of. Now, as the only child of a single mother, I’m shrouded in guilt. I’m torn between the home I’ve made with my family and the home I left behind with the only mother I will ever have.


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