Fu*k you.April/May 2020
When I started this series, I wasn’t sure why I was doing it. I felt vulnerable and open, putting my literal emotions (See what I did there?) on display for anyone to see. I almost didn’t want to publish this one because it is so short and 50% profanity. But, you know what? It’s my truth. It was a truth I needed to hear this week.
I’m currently working with a new client that has me grinding harder than any has before, I’m taking a Cornell certificate course, and I just joined Nicole Walters’ $1K1Day course. This is all on top of Girl Scouts, home life, an ailing mother, planning the launch of a podcast, and just trying to breathe in the time of a pandemic.
My husband has to constantly remind me that I am capable, that I “should kick [my] inner critic to the curb.” I’m constantly seeking validation from others (aunties online and off). I second guess my abilities even when someone is slapping me in the face with admiration of my skills. If that doesn’t scream insecurity, I don’t know what does. So, this week, I’ll say it again: FU*K YOU, INSECURITY. I don’t need you. God, people, and the universe have shown me that I am worthy of all the opportunities placed before me. I deserve the flowers being thrown at my feet and I claim them. I claim the small wins and the big victories. I embrace all the challenges that God has in store for me. I am ready.
While I still don’t know who these letters were meant for, I know that past me has helped present me understand the journey I’ve been on so far. It has been a long, emotional road and I have no qualms about sharing it with you. I hope that my openness has helped at least one person seek and find clarity on their path to personal understanding. While I am in no way a professional therapist, I am a woman trying to carve out a spot in this mad, crazy world. I’m here with you. You are not alone.
If you have any Emotional Letters to share, please send them to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Thank you for taking this journey with me.