Indecision

Dear Indecision,


What the fuck? I’m really trying to be productive here and you’re making shit really hard. How many things can you throw at me all at once? I just want to sit down and outline my book. I don’t want to think about where my business is headed right now. It’s fucking Saturday. I want to focus on writing. I want creativity, NOT business! Is it too much to ask that when my uber supportive husband gives me the time to write that you get out of the way and just let me fucking write what I want? I don’t want to sit here with a million questions in my mind about HOW to continue my outline. I read the damn book. FINALLY! I finished it. I did it. Now it’s time to put what I’ve learned to use. So please shut the fuck up and let me get on with the rest of my night. Thank you and fuck off.

5/23/20


Well, I was an angry little writer last year, wasn’t I? I’m glad to say that I face indecision with much more calm and composure now. The anger radiating from these words is palpable. It can be frustrating when you want—even plan to go in one direction, and you can’t wrap you mind around it once you sit down to do it. What I found helpful was to follow where my mind wants to go and come back to plan once I’d found I’d exhausted the distractions. Especially on a weekend. It was all about giving myself a little grace and myself a little mental reset, asking, “Why am I so fixated in this other task?” Once I got it out of my head, I was able to focus solely on what I really wanted.

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